"INFORMED CONSENT - The Mental Health Guide To Dating For Women"
by Jennifer Doswell, MSW, LCSW

Introduction

A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Love does not have to be blind. In fact, for best results, it must not be.

I believe that romantic relationships are the hardest of partnerships. There are no rules to govern that emotional part or that part of the human need that always demands to be satisfied. In spite of it all, relationships must be a worthwhile endeavor because so many of us keep trying to get it right. In this book, it is the hope that women will get it right the first time.

Young women tend to idealize relationships and marriage. They fantasize about the loving attentive husband, the white picket fence and the happily ever after. I believe that this illusion of a perfect relationship serves to hinder or impede a more factual conscious awareness. This illusion promotes a fairy tale picture of relationship bliss as if by merely wishing, one can dream up the perfect mate. It ain't so. Good relationships require common sense, good judgment, and sufficient knowledge of the person you plan to share your life with. Sharing your life with someone is a fulltime investment that must be carefully considered. One must be careful when they FALL in love. Falling can be risky business. This can be a precarious venture. Choose wisely.

When is a good time to pay attention- invest in your future-before or after marriage? A lot of people wait too late to properly invest in their love future and only pay attention when something unfortunate happens.

I have noticed that sustaining a great relationship is one of the hardest challenges in life. For some, it is a commitment till death, despite the many life long stressors that often tempt separation and divorce. In contrast, others quit the commitment as soon as familiarity sets in and the relationship loses its appeal. At any rate, it is very difficult. Part of this problem is due to not realizing what one is getting into in the first place.

Good mental health is important to a healthy relationship, and your own personal sanity. Relationships can be trying enough without the hidden surprises of one partner's emotional problems. There are many categories of mental health problems. There are men who appear likely to be a good husband, but may have deep dependency needs. At first, it may be appealing as you may feel loved and needed, but that may pale when it's your turn to feel cared for, and he will not be equipped to do so. Or a man may impress you with his plans and dreams of financial success, but the stark reality is that he cannot keep a basic job to support his growing family. These are just a couple of the issues that will be addressed in this book, as they relate to relationships.

Put on your spectacles and go into your dating relationship and ultimately your marriage with your eyes WIDE OPEN.

(excerpt from "Informed Consent - The Mental Health Guide To Dating For Women" - by Jennifer Doswell, MSW, LCSW. Copyright 2007.)